Smile at everyone who comes within three feet of you, says Kevin Knebl, social-media and networking consultant and coauthor of The Social Media Sales Revolution: The New Rules for Finding Customers, Building Relationships, and Closing More Sales Through Online Networking (McGraw-Hill). He believes that the Knebl Three-Foot Rule, as he calls it, is the “right way to live” if you want long-term success in business and in life. The rest of the rule goes like this—“If they smile back, say hi. If they say hi back, start a conversation with them about them.”
In the last two months, my life has been turned upside down and sideways by two major family crises. Everyone will eventually be fine but it has been challenging to say the least.
I have done my best to manage everything and kept thinking to myself, what am I meant to learn here? So I decided to write down five tools and tricks that I’ve been using myself to maintain my level of inner peace, even when things seem to be falling apart all around me.
- Stay Present – I may not be the best at practicing mindfulness but in these times, it has certainly helped to just be living in the moment because you don’t know what else may be there. Staying focused on the exact moment, the feelings and making sure that you are giving love, can help. As with all crises, this too shall pass, the sun does eventually come back out.
- Prioritize – when you’ve got things coming down at you from many directions, it is a matter of figuring out what is most important and focus only on that. All else can wait. We knew with the situation that we faced, that it would require our full focus and energy and therefore we cleared all the other major projects that we had coming. It just wasn’t going to be viable to take on big projects in the middle of having to deal with a crisis. Family comes first above all else and this was definitely the right decision for us at this time.
- Reframe – I’m a big believer that things happen for a bigger reason. It can be hard to see that when you’re in the middle of having your life falling apart around you. But if you can lift yourself up to become an observer of your life, you can then start to ask, what is the lesson from this experience? Our attitude is what will make a difference in your outlook and how well you can manage. Reframing helps to make sense out of chaos.
- Trust – Life doesn’t happen TO us, it happens FOR us. If you can break out of the victim mentality of things happening to you and instead realize there must be something in the crisis for you to learn, you become empowered. There are times when you just need to surrender and allow the process, without being attached to the outcome. This is NOT easy but when you can trust that the Universe (or insert the word/name that resonates with you) will take care of you, you can move past the pain and suffering and into a place of gratitude and love…and peace.
- Self-Care – I can’t emphasis this enough! Be kind to yourself. Get extra sleep. Eat well and get some exercise. Do things that make you happy and listen to uplifting music, even if only for a little mental escapism so that you can feel better. In the middle of the first crisis, I was hit with a horrible flu. For a week, I was sleeping 10 hours a night. I haven’t gotten that much sleep in years! But my body needed it and I allowed myself the “luxury”, although it was more of a necessity. Pamper yourself in whatever ways you can so that you can be strong for others.
Crises and chaos are a part of life. And especially during these very turbulent times, I believe we are facing a massive clearing. Things are being brought to light in everyone’s lives so that we can deal with issues and move on energetically. It seems like so many people are facing tough challenges right now. Know you are not alone and there are tools that can help you manage. Collectively, we will all get through these challenging times and I have faith some really amazing times are just around the corner for humanity.
Many of us complain that there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything we need and want to do. But sometimes the more we do, the more we can do. Researchers are finding that when people spend brief periods of time helping others, they end up feeling as though they have more time. University of Pennsylvania researchers found that people who spent time volunteering felt more efficient and less stressed and hurried than those who did not. We know that volunteering is good for our health, but who knew it also could help with time management and stress management?
In these hectic days of busy-ness, the best present you can give to yourself is to take a little time to evaluate your life. If we don’t do this regularly, time will disappear and before you know it, years have gone by and you’ll wonder where it went. Rather than allowing your life to slip through the sands of time, take a little time on a regular basis to evaluate where you’ve been and where you want to go.
Personally, I generally do the following activities at the New Year, my birthday (which is in March), and at the end of summer when I’m gearing up to finish the year. I recommend at the very minimum, annually, but quarterly or even monthly is great.
Here are some simple ways that you can keep your life on track moving forward towards the experiences you want to have. Take out a piece of paper or better yet, write this down in a journal so you can come back to it in the future to reflect back.
- Write down your top goals that you want to accomplish in the next 12 months. Just the act of putting it down on paper makes it more concrete and the odds of these things happening increase dramatically. In fact, only 3% of people actually write down their goals and according to a study of Harvard students, that 3% will make ten times more than the other 97% put together!
- Write down how you want to FEEL in the coming months. Get in touch with the emotions and feelings you want to have as your dominate feelings. Whether it is love, happiness, joy, abundance, peace, fun, excitement, passion, or whatever is important to you, bringing this awareness to how you are feeling is going to keep you on track of situations that are in line with these feelings—nor even more importantly, situations that are NOT in alignment with these core emotions.
- Write down what experiences you want to have. Be specific, dream big, bring fun into this. What are the things you’re dreaming about doing in your life. There is absolutely no time better than NOW to start experiencing it. Life is about living…not settling or waiting until the time is right or you have enough money/time/freedom/ability/insert your reasons here to make it happen. The dynamic about creating your life is that you need to be clear and specific about you want, set the intention to make it happen, and then guess what? It has a much higher liklihood of happening!
- Write down how you want to give back in your life. The key to bring joy into your life and creating the life you want to live is directly tied into how you want to give back. Your ability to receive grows as you give. And as you give, you help others feel good which in turn makes you feel good too. The more interactive this is, the better. Although it is nice to write a check to your favorite charity, it doesn’t have nearly the positive impact energetically on you versus going down to the local soup kitchen and helping to feed the homeless during the holidays or reading for children at the local library. These are just examples—come up with what feels right for you.
- Write down how you are going to take care of yourself and get committed. We only have one body and it is important to take care of it. So whether that means eating healthier foods, getting regular exercise, sleeping better, having more fun, nuturing relationships more, think about how you can take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Often people think it is selfish to put yourself before others but in fact, it is the exact opposite. When you take good care of yourself, you have more to give to others.
Once you’ve written these 5 ways to get the most out of the coming year, think about all you’ve accomplished, and how far you’ve come so far. Celebrate your progress and know that you are getting in the driver’s seat of your life. You become empowered when you stop and take a little time for this reflection. And dream about how you want to experience your life. Because everything that we can imagine and dream about, we can bring into our experiences if we stay focused, determined, committed, and loving the path we’ve chosen to take. Good luck and here’s to making your dream life come true!
Researchers at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City compared pleasurable emotions and heart disease risk in about 1,800 adults. The more positive emotions expressed, the lower the risk for heart disease.
Smile on—it’s good for your heart.
I recently read this on a window while walking down a busy city street. It made me stop and think for a minute… and stuck in my brain permanently.
Such a simple statement, yet so profound…
We are ALL perfect, right here, right now.
There is nothing we have to do other than accept ourselves as we are — a work in progress!
Suffering comes when we become attached to an expectation. If you truly learn to be living in the present, being fully aware, you are able to love your imperfections.
You can forgive yourself because you are a work in progress and you aren’t done growing, learning, and discovering the best version of yourself.
Understanding that you are perfect because you are not allows love and self compassion to flood your life. It brings a level of acceptance that eliminates a lot of the criticism, harsh judgments, and berating we tend to do to ourselves.
You can either be your own worst enemy or the one who loves you the most.
Having teenager daughters, we often have discussions about image and self confidence. Those teenage years can be some of the harshest in our lives when we are so wrapped up in what everyone else thinks about us.
I know many adults still feeling the sting of cruel words that were said to them in their younger years.
It is such a fragile time. We do not need to carry those wounds.
You can choose to heal, accept, forgive, and move forward with your life.
With these magical words, you are given permission to do so. It frees you up to work consciously to be the best version of yourself.
I recently had one of the deepest coaching sessions with a new mentor. In a matter of a few minutes, he had taught me the power to be aware of being aware.
That is how you can bring yourself into the present moment. This is conscious living.
We are the only species who replays movies in our head over and over and continue to suffer from them, whether you are beating yourself up for something you’ve done or are worrying about a future event. Either way, it is not serving you.
Bring yourself to seeing the joy in the small, seemingly inconsequential moments of life. Because in the end, it is those little memories that make all the difference.
Love yourself because you are NOT perfect… because you are perfect just like that!
Written by: John Assaraf
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
Thoughts create everything. But here’s the problem. Most people spend their time thinking about what they don’t want, and they’re wondering why it shows up over and over again. In The Secret, we referred to this as the “don’t want” epidemic. When people think, speak, act and focus on what they don’t want, they keep it alive.
You can free yourself of this epidemic by thinking and speaking about what you do want. Your thoughts not only matter, they create matter. Thought is where everything comes from. And your thoughts are where your business comes from. Consciousness is what the universe is made of; matter and energy are just two of the forms that consciousness takes.
So, what are we saying here, that everything is made of thought? That thought creates the physical world? Yes, that is exactly what we are saying. In a nutshell, here is the conclusion so far of humanity’s epic quest to understand the world:
- Everything in the physical world is made out of atoms.
- Atoms are made out of energy.
- Energy is made out of consciousness.
If all of this seems difficult to grasp or accept, imagine what it must have seemed like to the people of Galileo’s time when they were asked to consider the proposition that the earth travels through space around the sun. Or the idea of a spherical earth to pre-Socratic philosophers. The truth is, we don’t see what is there. We see what we are prepared to see, what we are conditioned to see.
Once we know that everything is energy—that there is no absolute distinction between matter and energy—then the boundaries between the physical world and the world of our thoughts start to disappear as well.
You’ve heard the old expression, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” But that’s not really how it is. The truth is more like this: “You’ll see it when you believe it.”
When novelist Victor Hugo said, “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come,” we now know that this was more than a metaphor. He may not have fully realized it at the time, but he was giving us a literal description of how reality works. Our thoughts are the controlling factor in what we manifest and create in our lives.
The idea precedes the thing.
In a very real, concrete sense, your beliefs don’t simply reflect your reality, they create your reality. This concept applies to the reality of massive success in business.
Listen to your thoughts. What are the dominant thoughts that run through your mind?
Review your thought list. Is it a list of “don’t wants” or wants? What thoughts do you need to change?
Replace your “don’t wants” with wants. When you find yourself thinking of things you don’t want to manifest in your life, interrupt those thoughts and replace them with thoughts about what you do want.
Start with a picture, an idea in your mind, and before you know it, you will be living it. This is at the heart of how John Assaraf’s dream house showed up, as well as every business he has built. The same thing happens to every business person who has a vision and knows their thoughts have a direct, causal impact on reality.
Your thoughts and beliefs are the most powerful force in the universe. Make sure you are cognizant of yours.
John Assaraf is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, researcher and explorer of consciousness and human behavior. His love and passion for discovering and teaching people how to release the internal mental blockages that holds them back from achieving their fullest potential is what drives him and gives his life purpose and meaning. You can find out more about John at www.JohnAssaraf.com or www.PraxisNow.com.
Having recently met Noah St. John, the best selling author of Afformations, I had to let you know that his new method of afformations is revolutionizing how we can work with affirmations. Watch these short videos and learn how you can really become empowered and start applying these techniques today. Definitely check it out and you can purchase his book on Amazon.com. Get inspired and empowered!
How often do you think about pleasing yourself? We often put ourselves on the bottom of the list for nurturing and caring for when in reality we should be at the top—then we’ll have more energy to give to others.
Women, and mothers especially it seems, are notorious for giving until they don’t have anything left of themselves. Although some men/dads are also falling into this category more often now (and my husband is one of them too!) This is not the way of the future as it is not sustainable in the long run.
Here are 10 easy ways to do things for yourself that will improve your life immediately. How many of these are you doing regularly?
Written by: Danielle La Porte
It’s not so much about getting what you want as having what it takes to give to others.
Give. Be the giver. Be generous. Be voluptuous with your love.
Give first. Be the first to say who you are — otherwise, the world will define you and you’ll have less to give.
Be the first to say I love you, because you do love — instantly.
Be the first to give an apology, even if you’re just thinking about being sorry.
Giving will show you who you are.
(You may not be who you thought you were, and you’ll realize you have so much more … to give.)
Give up your seat.
Give up your beliefs and you’ll be able to give more freely.
Give in the way that only you can give.
Gi ve of yourself. You’ll never regret it.
And never stop giving.
Danielle LaPorte is the creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), and co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes.